Old Wounds, New Salt

 

Why does this have to be so hard?  I get it. It's a huge organization with an even bigger job of trying to care for all sorts of things for veterans, and there are going to be bureaucratic hurdles and paperwork beyond paperwork. But sometimes what you are asking us to do actually inflicts more harm. This should not be the case. 

I have filed a couple claims, one for my hearing loss and one for PTSD from a couple events aboard my ship. The hearing process was fluid, moved along, and was a solid experience. Now I am attempting to get care for these ears - like new hearing aids, and it seems the VA is now diving deep.  I am working to get set up on Community Care for what they're calling a "Primary Care" visit. Now, they already know it's a hearing issue, but it seems we need to do this primary care thing first. I called our local VSO and talked to them, and they concur with me that it's likely just a step in the process - and that the doctor will refer me to the hearing specialist I really want to see anyway.  

So we wait, fingers crossed that this is how it goes. We shall see. 

In the meantime, my claim regarding post-traumatic stress disorder is pending.  If you read this blog, you know that I have been seeing a counselor (a good one) at the local Vets Center. A couple weeks ago I wrote about how the VA had requested his notes from all my visits and his assessment of me.  My therapist, being a truly honorable guy, wanted me to read everything that was being sent to the VA and get my nod that it was really OK to share all that. There was A LOT in that report and while it brought back a lot to read where I was and revisit the process of how I got here, I said it was OK to send. 

I came home from the reunion to find a detailed letter from the VA asking me to verify my experiences and get corroboration statements from people I told about my experience over the last 30+ years. 

So not only does the VA want me to write a detailed story about each of these two events, but they also want to know who else knows, and what they know, and when I told them, just in case they may want to talk to them about me and my experience. 

But they also recognize how this may be sort of triggering and traumatizing - by stating if you feel this, way, or that way to call this number (the hotline).  So let me get this straight... you have all the info from the VetCenter therapist, and you have my basic statement on the claim (a few sentences) but now that I am where I am in dealing with this you want me to - stop - step back and recall all the shit that got me to where I was? How ****** up is that?   

I'll do it. I can do it. 

I'll do my best to do it and manage myself through doing it with hopefully as little impact as possible. But I have to say, I think this is wholly unfair. Why was there not space provided on the initial application forms for all this detail?  Ask for it then!  BEFORE we start the healing process. 

I am grateful for the counseling I've had thus far, I can't imagine the depths this process could take someone when they already find themselves so deep in a hole that they finally ask for help (and that takes a long time with veterans)... and then without any help, ask them to write in detail about the trauma that has turned their lives upside down. 

We could reduce the 22-a-day number with a much more caring process. 

Bureaucracy sucks.

The jury is still out on the VA. 

As they say in TV news... stay tuned.