It started with the idea to share Sea Stories in 2005. But I quickly realized these stories of life and experiences aboard a U.S. Navy warship have built in lessons. Now, combine that notion with the challenge of living with PTSD from a couple events aboard that same ship, and maybe there’s a way to help myself and others navigate their way out of the darkness that comes for us. It can’t hurt to share - perhaps someone else will pick up a tool or two that will help them as they read this.
The love, respect, honestly that true friends being to a game of pool, is life.
It’s competitive, but it’s the life parallel we should shoot for.
There are successes and failures and no matter the team we’re on on it’s still fun.
We still laugh. We are friends. We are the family we choose.
How amazing is that?
There is no bigger blessing.
My god I love her.
I put it on as I left the house this morning and while sitting here after dinner watching Thursday Night Football - I realize it's not on my wrist. Now my mind is racing and I can not recall taking it off, or where it may be. I shared this with her and she - as always - is supportive and comforting. "It's probably on your desk at work" she said. I hope she's right. It's a small token. but it has tremendous meaning for me and for us.
UPDATE: Ya, it was in the drawer of my bedside table. My bad. It never made it onto my wrist yesterday. Too much on my mind? Or is age having more of an impact than I realize?
Yes, I got the forms done.
No, I didn't sleep a wink.
It was all right there again, fresh, images, the feelings everything. I felt guilty that I was tossing and turning so bad, I know I was keeping my wife awake, so I went to the other bedroom, took a sleeping pill and tried to find peace in the darkness. It eventually came, but it wasn't good and it was only for a couple hours. But the forms are done! Now I just needed to get them uploaded to the VA system. So I scanned them, and fired off an e-mail to the local VSO who has been helpful for the last year in hopes they'll take them and load them directly into my case file.
While I wait, I also reached out to a former co-worker who happens to also be a Marine Corp veteran. Back in 1999 I shared my story with him and he was awesome, and suggested back then that I contact the VA and get some help with it. Of course I didn't - and I sure wish I had! But I asked if he'd be willing to write up a statement about what I told him and when. His answer was instantaneous and "you got it!"
Today I asked a shipmate who was there that night if they'd simply write their memories of that night confirming for the VA that this actually happened. The reply again, instant and "absolutely."
These are my brothers, veterans and shipmates who know. They know the trust we had to have in each other when we were in uniform, and that trust and support is there for a lifetime.
I'm humbled.
I'm grateful.
Optimistic.
