Waiting game

 

It’s a fact of life right? The older you get the more health issues pop up. Like an old ship, there are creeks and groans that years of west and tear cause. The older you are the more the symphony of these sounds echos through your day-to-day. Check-ups a year ago included blood work. Bloodwork that showed a rise in a certain number. So doc says we will revisit in six months with more lab work. Well, we did and the number was higher.  So now let’s get an MRI. Well, that’s not showing us much, we let it ride six more months and get more lab work. The number is even higher.

We meet, talk options. We can give it six more months and see where we are or we can do a biopsy and find out if there are cancer cells in there. 

Biopsy. Please. 

Unpleasant as it was, the bigger gut check is now the wait. Five days until we meet in person to go over the results. 

Hey, if it’s cancer it’s one that can be easily beaten. But the idea that I’m waiting to find out if I have cancer… well, Thais sucks!  I know there are tens of thousands (likely more) who are also waiting for similar results.  Damn.  There is a great deal of pain out there. Even if this is “C” I’m in better shape than most and it’s treatable so… fingers crossed. 

Managed it well

 The anniversary certainly had its moments, but overall lighter than years past for certain. Of course one reason likely was I happen to have an appointment with my Vets Center therapist on the day of the anniversary. Which gave it an outlet for conversation with immediate feedback with my being challenged to speak how this year was better. 

First, allow myself time to be sad. It’s a sad day. 

Second, say to myself what they would say to me. You remembered, thank you. Now breathe in, breathe out and move ahead.

Lastly, do something productive, fun or relaxing today. Something that honors them and myself.  

A rather simple playbook to a complex day of emotions, but it worked. 

The journey continues.